deanhuntI went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
BlazingMindsSometimes I think this dog of mine is glued to me, every time I sit down in front of the computer, up he jumps and goes to sleep on my lap!
wbaustinMy short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be #jokes #humor #comedy
iheartquotesBefore criticizing your wife's faults, remember that they may have prevented her from getting a better husband. (via @DavidRivas)
PhilWredeSince when is paying $13 for a sandwich, chips & a soda justifiable? iTunes albums should cost more than lunch, not the other way around.
chrisorourkeAll forms of insurance are there to insure that the insurance company stockholders have money.
danielpunkassThey say Joe Biden is already living up to his "gaffe" reputation. But it takes a lot of gaffes to match shooting your friend in the face.
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