Retweet Favorites - #22

iheartquotesYou're working under a slight handicap. You happen to be human.

christianfeaIt's been said that 95% of people will do nothing with the opportunities they are presented with. #siim

myweddingisoverDo you have a case of the Twitter'Twitch? if so @SkeeterHaris he says there is a cure... lol, or better yet if ur not in a car ur good 4 now

famoustwitsCool RT @MightyCasey slugs are lushes. they crawl into the beer and drown. roaches need motels. slugs just need bars.

DocYankeePick up a pack of Thank-You cards this weekend. Then send ‘em out every week to at least two clients, thanking them for their busine

unwordedletterrTo top off my irritating day, my slutty cousin is coming over.. Why a doesn't she just stay at home.. Ugh.

snedwanIt's great when a celebrity twitters you back eh @jimmy_poodle , makes you feel loved and warm both inside and outside!

apluskfeels like a slow news day. I have to be careful not to say anything too stupid.

Retweet Favorites - #14

cwalkenThere's a kid on a Pogo stick in front of my house. It's nearly midnight so let's assume he's been drinking. This should end well for him.

toddadamsonThank you, microwave, for making my hippie peanut butter spreadable.

iheartquotesWhat we need is either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.

pentahexamineOne of the down sides of growing old is realizing what an ass you were when you were young and knew it all.

famoustwitsNothing on the telly tonight, cause someone stole my fish tank.

DDGriffithsocial media. ...it's not just for breakfast anymore!

paulmason10538Who is your #twittertwin?? Please tweet, with reasons, especially if you consider them to be identical, or that you were separated at birth!

Nabbit@Sweetnote You are as young a feel! Nabbit makes everyone feel young!!

k0pGonna have another cup of coffee and crack open a bud light.

Retweet Favorites - #12

PistachioConsulting my "marauders map" (ie, Twitter breadcrumbs of where folks are)

TDJensenNew Years Res (In March - I ROCK Procrastination) Don't waste syllables debating "should if the conversation has already moved to "How".

beachelfMy inner skinny girl is trying to come out, but all the Thin Mints are in the way.

CCSeedThe birds have different songs in Austin....

BoydJonesYes, Sabih, you need to "stalk" people -- follow those you find interesting on Twitter... Build up your Twitter base.

XtyMillerWelcoming you all to my extended twitter family. Blessing of love and light to all! Live Aloha - Respect, Relax, Enjoy! Much love, Christine

truewitnessTrue Witness is celebrating the birthday of their lead guitarist ... TOM!!! Happy Birthday Tom!!!!!

famoustwitsBest auto dm I ever got. "I hate auto dms too and if u figure how to remove them all in one go, let e know" (:

donhudginsI'm very pleased that Pres. Obama has named Gil Kerlikowske as drug czar. He made pot busts lowest priority in Seattle. Below jaywalking.

laurenmaloneyIs letting go of everything I am and holding on to everything you are.

flawntgruffs huffs and puffs. schniffing.

sparkicaAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (screaming continues)

apluskThere's nothing cool about being a pimp. PImp = Slave Owner

ArthurB1955Arthur's having Mexican "food" for lunch today. I guess in my next life I'm going to be Latin. Boy this is Good!

Lady_DeathHow embarrassing is it to have writer's block, when all you have to write is like 20 words or so?

Jimmy_PoodleI'm away to tell everyone I know that Jonathan Ross tweeted me, then I'm going to make a cup of tea & scowl at the cat for a moment. G'luck!

SashaKaneFriedrich Nietzsche --> "It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!" (Fred's my Boo)

breyeschowThe old Chinese guys sitting next to me at the cafe are about to break into a mah jong frenzy. Mocha and mah jong baby! I heart SF!

Retweet Favorites - #11

azurioAt my funeral, I totally want a mariachi band. (PS - If I mysteriously perish, suspicions should fall on local mariachi band opportunists.)

villarjawelcome to the terror-dome - two kids under 6 and a new dog and mom is out for the evening and no wine

bajuBest part of not feeling well is having a great wife taking care of you. How did I survive before?

famoustwitsCat won staring match and then raised tail while parading and giving a look which said I am so pissed off and so beautiful.

deadhead55butter is the best with biscuits and jam..!!!!!

VintageSellerDo not get me started on sweets !!

josephpredEnding a less than productive day by going out to romp in the fresh snow. Also going out to celebrate the engagement of a couple of friends.

atomicpoetI regret mixxing light roast coffee with Red Bull. I got the shakes. This is what cocaine must feel like.

coffeetweet"The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up."

oudiantebiSnowflakes the size of my head are falling from the sky

crashrabbitSeriously, instead of warning against kids playing with the cables they should advise against them using it as a steering wheel.

Coolbear77What's Plan B? Apply for that job as a speedbump in the parking lot of Walmart.

Retweet Favorites - #10

LordBarren>sullenly grabs broom, stomping to basement< >cape swish<

Kilogrammagedear twitter, today I am having a very bad day :-( My team mates on my quiz bowl team have formed a cabal to usurp me.

villarjawelcome to the terror-dome - two kids under 6 and a new dog and mom is out for the evening and no wine

famoustwitsOur German student thinks sober means fasting. Job interview med he ask on phone if he should come sober. Me lmao, he still on phone.

joebrooksAre you guys a cult, and am I your leader?

iheartquotesWhen nothing can possibly go wrong, it will.

LeVarThomasHas twitter took the focus from any other of your addictions?

KarenLCat1min.,"You're not the boss of me"..next..asleep in a fetal position on the sofa resembling an angel..Bi-polar or Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde? my6YO!

lou21everyone is so quiet tonight

BrownEyedAlbinofreaking tired. if there aren't any epic peices soon, I'm just going to sleep..

BradHowardThe average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. (HAHA!)

AlexisNeelyWhy the cry? Sometimes I just need to cry. Don't you? If not, what are you blocking? I was numb for many years. Now, not so much. :)

Retweet Favorites - #9

SlightBratBoyheadlines we wont see: Government To Protect Idiots From Own Stupidity: Witless Protection Program

Hollymarkwondering why people stay in relationships where they break up every other week...

victorvigilMen do less than they ought,unless they do all they can.

deanhuntI think I broke my twitter

DennisRitchieI offered my dog a bite of oatmeal and she looked at me like,"You don't love me anymore." Never moved. This from a dog that eats poop.

famoustwitsHow many twitterers does it take to change a light bulb? 1000. 1 to change bulb and 999 to give updates on the progress of the job

leftbrainstupidEvery time someone pauses while talking I find myself interjecting some line of sarcasm or innuendo. Rocky Horror why can’t I quit you!

psychicmaidenOk I finally admit it, I am addicted to twitter.

Vicki904i hate that when i leave for work the moon is still in the sky...

lexiconjessicaughh got 2 eye shadows and they are exact dupes for each other! intoxicate (le?) and shadowy lady!

cartoonistAnd some salad with worms and maggots for Herman.

jaimelaureni can't wait to go home and ebay the shit out of these old lady figurines.

Retweet Favorites - #8

FitzilloWhen a competitive eating champion is down on his luck, does he stand on the corner with a sign that says "Will eat for food"?

timelady--/ <- hole in ground. where i have crawled & am hiding, wound licking and healing. still vulnerable idiot at 42, & trust where shouldnt. chrisbroganDoes anybody else remember begging their parents for TV dinners as a kid? And for judging them based on the dessert?

Nuzziepeeling my cold, dead fingers from my keyboard to go to bed, nite. over and out

famoustwitsI was thinking of taking over the world after breakfast but then resisted after considering the aweful problem of just what to do with it.

DanielLannon@DivaOfLove winks then looks down and shuffles feet

yehudaberg2day look at life as 1 big game of hide & seek Enjoy the process of struggling & know that if U R sweating you’re close 2 that which U seek

breeberstwishes there was a pill to inspire drive & creativity. Of course it'd probably cause hallucinations, or cancer, or spontaneous combustion

filmomaticAlso, why can't I form a proper sentence? See my last tweet. Good lord.

PeterSantilliSTRESS:The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the daylights out of some idiot who deserves it!

xenijardinWow, smug white chauvinism dripping from that convo made me feel a lil sick. Anyone want my soup? They make computers, btw.

beijobabeThe San Diego Water Authority has just made it easier to be a douchebag to your neighbors with their "Water Waster" door hangers. Boooooo.!

Retweet Favorites - #7

ledunnI have decide that I will not participating in this economic recession I am sorry there is no shame in my game I'm having to much fun living

summerstreetgetting ready for our saturday boy scout camp out making a menu and then we are going shopping at a and p hope im not cooking

FollowMe4CashWalked into a room & forgot y I went thr. Who plays this joke on us?

JoesPizzaI realize I'm dating myself here, but: I remember Windows 3.11 - it came on 7 diskettes.

PrawnsizeBe yourself, if ppl don't like it that's their problem, they're not really liking the real if you pretend to be something you're not anyway!

TonyDarnelljust discovered that if your kids won't come when you call them, just go into the bathroom. They will knock on the door in 30 seconds...

famoustwitsTwitter ettiquette doesn't work offline. Asked in pub how things were. Explained I only give updates to my friends. Not taken well.

iheartquotesTrespassers will be shot. Survivors will be prosecuted.

hearsmusicIf you have an idea, and you want to run with it, remember that nobody will care about it as much as you. Your own dedication is key.